Kotlet schabowy – Traditional Polish breaded pork dish
What’s the only thing you need to make Polish food in general and kotlet schabowy in particular?
A hammer (we’ll get to that in a bit).
Well, that, and vodka.
Kotlet schabowy is what you’d eat at lunch with your family on a Sunday and it’s been part of Polish cuisine for a long time. It dates back to the 19th century and was mentioned in a cookbook by Lucyna Ćwierczakiewiczowa. Have fun choking on your tongue trying to pronounce that.
Anyway, get good and angry before you proceed to the next step.
Instructions for making kotlet schabowy
Let’s start easy. Grab your potatoes and peel them. Angrily. Once you’re happy with flaying them, add them to a pot of boiling water and cook until very soft.
At this point, I should make a Ramsay Bolton reference but I won’t because I’m better than that. Winter is coming.
While the potatoes are boiling, take the pork medallions and beat the bejeezus out of them with a meat hammer. You really need them tenderized and thin. Take the eggs, break them and beat them into a separate bowl (I’m starting to see a recurring violence theme here, do you?).
Add the breadcrumbs, salt, and pepper to a separate bowl and start heating up the oil in a deep frying pan. Take the tenderized pork medallions and follow this process:
1. Drag them through the beaten eggs until fully coated.
2. Drag them through the breadcrumbs next.
3. Slowly put them in the frying pan and fry until golden on both sides.
While frying, drain the potatoes and mash them while adding salt and pepper to taste.
Finally, chop lettuce or cucumbers and chives and mix them with the yogurt.
Listen to this while cooking.
Looking for something?
Go through these if you’re looking for something specific